As the lights went out, a feeling of calm overcame me. I wanted the darkness to linger. I savored each and every second of it. I wanted it to stay that way. Darkness seems to be my closest friend. I can always rely on it. It keeps me hidden from everyone and it keeps everyone hidden from me. It provides shelter to the world from my stupidity, wickedness, ugliness and freak-ness. It provides refuge to me from their bullying, brutality and condescending attitudes.
The darkness makes me close my eyes so that I cease to exist for a while. For those dark moments that occur, everything becomes stationary.
No more laughter of ridicule.
No more of those looks.
But like all good things, the darkness comes to an end. It fades away slowly and is replaced by a bright light. A light which is unwelcome. The darkness abandons me, leaving me unsheltered, exposed and vulnerable. It violates every part of me.
Like all things, life requires balance. You can't have darkness without the light. The challenge is learning to embrace both. Don't hold on to the sadness so tightly that you forget how to be happy.
ReplyDeleteI know.. *sighs*
ReplyDeletethis happened to be the product of one of those days where , you know, everything seems to be heading downhill. Maybe i was PMS-ing.
thats right. blame it on PMS...
I've definitely had those days. Well, not the PMS, but the whole "everything falls to pieces" kinds of days. It's funny (peculiar, not haha) that those days seem completely insurmountable when they're happening, but with perspective you can usually see the way out.
ReplyDelete